Wendy’s and the Thickest Frosty

Yup, gotta use a spoon. Those things are thicker than Fangorn Forest, I swear.

She says “wake up, it’s no use pretending”
I’ll keep stealing, breathing her
Birds are leaving over autumn’s ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes ’round the yard
– “Naked As We Came” by Iron & Wine

Hillbillies Hate Gay Golfing Couples

Ah, not quite a revisit to the alligator arms day, but a whole new set of jerkfaces. They were pretty seething by the time we got up to the putting green on the first hole; they were waiting for us, not quite ready to tackle the second hole before they marked their territory, the words barely able to be contained in their stupid, dumb, blubbering mouths, and they seemed to actually accuse me of almost killing them. As if. I can barely hit the ball a hundred yards, let alone faster than 10 mph. The only person that almost died that day was Mr. Squirrel, but he skittered around to the other side of the tree trunk when he saw Sean was up to swing and practiced some zen-like positions.

I wonder who we’ll meet on our next outing. I hope it’s Bob Barker.

Can we take the next hour
And talk about me
Talk about me, and we’ll talk about me
Talk about me, and we’ll only talk about me
– “I’m Actual” by The Format