MyLifeComics

…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for June 2008

A Missed Connection, and VACATION

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So, back in 2007, there was an open submission period for this anthology called Missed Connections edited by Julia Wertz (of The Fart Party fame). The theme of the book was both simple and imaginative: look up some Missed Connections posts on Craigslist, find one that called to you, and illustrate it however you pleased. Sounded like fun so I gave it a shot. I searched and searched and then drew and drew and then, when push came to shove and the deadline loomed nearer, I got scared and never submitted the thing. Yes, I rejected myself. One day I’ll do a post on why this is a big no-no (as well as a major hurdle) and how it applies to both the art field and the writing field, but for now I’ll just say that I didn’t think I had what it took and rather than be told that by someone I admire I just sat in the dark and pretended like I never put pencil to paper in the beginning. Okay, enough of me talking here, this is what I did (excuse the bad scanning job):

Yeah, so that’s that. I apologize for the lack of MyLifeComics this week, but I hope you’ve enjoyed Tara’s guest comic, the small taste of The Zane Lane, and the above work of art. I promise to return with a bundle of comics about Bitsy winning at Scrabble, D doing battle with Murphy’s Law, and Momma Dukes pounding back some wine like a true champion. Plus, girlfriend moments! All I ask is that a seagull doesn’t shit on my head again. So yes, for now, this is where I’m heading to and I couldn’t be more excited:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right
Little darling it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling it feels like years since it’s been here

– “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles

Written by Paul

June 27, 2008 at 12:00 am

#378 – Asthma Sucks

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Momma Dukes, look away! And Lisa really didn’t want me to draw this misunderstood happening, but alas, she’s off gallivanting in Las Vegas at the moment, probably marrying some random poolboy RIGHT NOW before the chapels close for the evening, and there’s nothing she can do to stop me. Yes, I like the power I have very much so. Just consider me the journal comic version of the Hulk: “You wouldn’t like me…when I’m drawing.”

Two more workdays to go! TWO!

Question of the day: How many more workdays to go?

We all know someone who’s always hurtin’
The sun is shining they draw the curtain
One thing for certain
The pain ain’t gonna stop
You get right down to the bottom of the barrel
And then you float back on top

– “Bottom of the Barrel” by Amos Lee

Written by Paul

June 26, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in comics, games, health, violently vulgar

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A Taste of The Zane Lane

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Come on, everybody! Hop in the DeLorean and let’s travel back to 1999! This was a time when I breathed, ate, drank, and slept everything Gary Larson. The Far Side remains to this day one of those strips that is beyond timeless, weirdly weird, and rewarding, and I never miss a chance to flip through my old collectives. Those one-panel gags, so great and funny and thought-provoking…well, you saw what happened when I fell in love with Calvin and Hobbes, remember? Here’s what came out of my 16-year-old head at the time, a bunch of gags under the brand name of The Zane Lane:

The one just above here is a little cut off. It reads: “They had no identity on themselves so we’re calling them John and Jane Doe.” Yeah, I’m a frakking riot. Always was, always will be. There’s more from The Zane Lane, but I’ll let y’all sweat it out some more…

There should be MyLifeComics up for tomorrow and Friday, depending on my workload. I still have so much on my to-do list that ISN’T crossed off yet and vacation looms. Blargh, but not blarghing about vacation. Blarghing about the stress of things to do. :/

Oh, and I added a page for my bibliography. Go check out where I’ve had short stories published at! Go! Get! SCRAM!

Written by Paul

June 25, 2008 at 12:00 am

#377 – Thunder Sounds

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We’ve been having some crazy weather here lately. Lots and lots of rain, some thunder, big flashes of lightning. No flying pigs or meteors though. From the rain though, these have begun sprouting up all along the Garden State Parkway:

In busy news, I’m busy. That means tomorrow there’s no MyLifeComic. Wait! Wait! Don’t run away yet! Just cause there’s no journal comic doesn’t mean you won’t get something from me. We’ll be traveling back in time…except not in a DeLorean. Ah, you’ll see! So don’t abandon me just yet. I’ll try and get comics done for Thursday and Friday. Wish me luck. Send me cookies. Give a leprechaun a noogie. Do what you gotta do.

Question of the day: What sound effect do you hear when thunder comes a-rolling?

I’m so tall, can’t get over me
I’m so low, can’t get under me
I must be all these things
for I just threw out the love of my dreams

– “I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams” by Weezer (feat. Rachel Haden)

Written by Paul

June 24, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in ADD, artwork, cars, comics, weather

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Guest Strip #2 – Something in My Ear

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Woo, another guest comic! This one is brought to you by the wonderful Tara and really captures the limits of our affection for one another. I mean really…ear hair. I’m disgusting! And yet…we prevail!

Anyways, let the countdown begin! My vacation officially starts Friday at 5:00 PM! I CAN’T WAIT AND I NEED IT NOW LIKE SO SO SO RIGHT NOW!

Writing news (a.k.a., Kelly, pay attention!)
Sold a short story over the weekend! Tyree Campbell of Aoife’s Kiss wrote to inform me that yes, despite how disturbing it is, he’d like to buy my short story “Nonsense” for the December 2008 issue. Or it might go online. Or in an anthology. It’s up in the air at the moment, but either way, it’s accepted. He already published my dark tale “After Effects” in the March 2008 issue so I guess I haven’t really freaked him out enough. Oh wells. Disturbing it shall be…


This could have been a song about the wind but my words were blown away
I could have sung about tomorrow but I couldn’t find today
Forget about writing about my conversations because I can’t think of what to say
With nothing left to sing about my ax in tune, I got no choice but to sing to you

– “Could Have Been a Song” by Pat McGee Band

Written by Paul

June 23, 2008 at 12:00 am

#376 – Rocky Hike

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Woah! Check out that Schindler’s List usage of color! Hmm. I wonder what it symbolizes? Sacrifice? Despair? Directions? Aqua?

Wow, it’s Friday already. Know what that means, kiddos? Vacation officially begins one week from today. To say I’m beyond excited is…well, it tis what it tis. For now, the weekend consists of two things I absolutely hate doing: getting a haircut and buying a bathsuit. FUN FACT: I have not bought a bathing suit in at least…five years. Gah. I hope y’all are doing something more enjoyable than that. Hmm? Hmm?

Question of the day:
Why on Earth do men think they look good in speedos?

Haven’t you heard it’s a battle of words
The poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There’s room for you inside

“Us and Them” by Pink Floyd

Written by Paul

June 20, 2008 at 12:00 am

#375 – Chili’s Hostess

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I’m really tired and unsatisfied with the way my comics have been looking with the black background. I don’t even remember why I started doing it anyways. To be different, perhaps? But we’re going this way now, with a typewriter-esque font for the date. I like it. You should too. If not, well…suck a cow.

Now, I know you’re all on the edge of your seats here to learn who I’ve declared as the winner of the Name My MacBook contest. So, I’ll announce the winner…right after the commercial break.

Ah, wasn’t that refreshing? So, the winner is…treenieweenie! She must know that, deep down, I’m a simple man with simple passions, one of those being pasta. Thus, from this day forth, my laptop shall be known as Macaroni! Long live, Macaroni! Huzzah, huzzah! ::tosses confetti and watches fireworks::

Thanks to all that threw down their suggestions. A lot of them were great, really. Trina, I’ll start working on your undersea adventure artwork over the weekend.

Question of the day: How many snobs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Half of the time we’re gone
But we don’t know where
And we don’t know where

“The Only Living Boy in New York” by Simon & Garfunkel

Written by Paul

June 19, 2008 at 12:02 am

#374 – The Mac Guy

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Granted, he did have a lot of good information hidden away beneath all those blah blah blahs. And he showcased his website dedicated to…Olympic weightlifting. Yeah, exactly. But either way, it all worked out in the end. I learned that I can type wordy words here and still open them up via Microsoft Word on my PC. So that’s a bonus. It just took forever to get that outta him. But the stretch of time gave Tara and I’s stomachs plenty reason to start growling. Grr. Arghhh. Mrow.

Question of the day: What’s my MacBook’s name? The one that gives me the best answer gets a free drawing…of anything (well, nearly anything; no dinosaur porn) their little heart desires. Drop as many suggestions as you’d like. So get to the name-calling!

So you say I’m better off here
As dry as the shoreline
In an ocean of fear
So you say I can’t be alive
Until there is nothing
When we’re meeting eyes again

– “Shoreline” by Deas Vail

Written by Paul

June 18, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in business, comics, questions, technology

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#373 – Politics Dinner

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To begin, this is my first post here at MyLifeComics from my MacBook. Mmm I lurve it already. It runs really great and everything is so simple on a Mac. I haven’t done too much with it from lack of time, but I’m slowly bringing everything over to here from my PC. But yeah, it’s all very shiny and cool. Stay tuned for tomorrow where I’ll be running a small contest in which the lappy top acquires its True Name. And no, it’s not going to be your name. As if!

But yes, politics. The bane of my existence. Or maybe the punchline. What’s the joke then, you ask? I graduated college with a degree in journalism, a major where more than a good percentage of news being reported is…political. Ah. Yeah, it’s not really that funny. I just can’t get too passionate about it all. Elephants, donkeys, third parties, debates, scandals, slander, campaigns…it’s all just too much. I’d rather eat pretzels and watch TV shows about a ragtag group of survivors in outer space trying to find their way to Earth…

Question of the day: What subjects do you have trouble talking about, whether it’s from lack of knowledge or sheer discomfort or whatever you will? Animal rights? Foreign trade? Unicorns?

Hey now the straw dog’s out in the street
Hey now there’s chemicals in the clouds
Hey now they’re calling all the police
But they won’t get to us
No they’ll never get to us

– “Straw Dog” by Something Corporate

Written by Paul

June 17, 2008 at 12:00 am

#372 – No Real Comic

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I did this in three seconds. I know, you’re all impressed.

Real comics to come tomorrow, I promise.

I know what I know
I’ll sing what I said
We come and we go
That’s a thing that I keep
In the back of my head

– “I Know What I Know” by Paul Simon

Written by Paul

June 16, 2008 at 8:35 am

Posted in comics, technology, weekend

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