MyLifeComics

…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for September 2008

Quickest Way to Lose Weight: Colonoscopy

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So there ya go, the secret to weight loss. Now to find the avoidance of weight gain and we can all be healthy and slim with clean butts! Onwards!

No lyrics today. Tara is playing Kirby on the SNES in the background, and it has some bouncy, techno-esque tunes. Take that as you will…

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Written by Paul

September 30, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Seriously, Rapists in the Basement

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Okay, maybe not seriously…but it really is–and I’m stretching my mind here to think a bit like a serial killer/rapist/wannabe thug–the best place to commit such a crime. Gloomy, unmanned, and brimming with shadows and empty corners, the basement of my apartment complex is a bit like the caves above Minas Morgul. Consider me a hobbit and Shelob a rapist and, well, there you go. Officially, the worst analogy ever. Anyways, if I don’t start my laundry before it gets dark with enough time allotted to retrieve my underoos and t-shirts, I just don’t do my laundry.

And now you know…

REMINDER: I’m posting TWO comics a day until the week is over. Check below for an earlier comic!

Maybe you just didn’t read me right
The lights went out and you just sitting on the stair
I played your song but I couldn’t get the melody right
Why don’t you just shoot up like a ball of rubber bands

– “Hotel Chelsea Nights” by Ryan Adams

Written by Paul

September 29, 2008 at 7:17 pm

Dirty Words Not Allowed in Spore Creatures

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I’d like a job like that. I’m pretty good at making lists, after all.

But yeah, you can totally name your little critter ThreesomePooBoo, but don’t you dare get any more perverse than that. Big Brother is watching, always watching…

Simple to see where we come from
Harder is where we are
That’s the core of the treason
The promise is never the answer
Well, why do you need to know
There ain’t a rhyme or a reason
Try to stay in the season

– “Small Revelations” by Chris Smither

Written by Paul

September 28, 2008 at 7:05 pm

New Old Houses Hold Many Secrets

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Better watch out, Sean, Ellen, and kitty cats…Hallowe’en approaches. Hope you’re enjoying the place and that no one fell down those deathtraps you call staircases

REMINDER: I’m posting TWO comics a day until the week is over. Check below for an earlier comic!

Can everything in some way help us understand
From mathematical problems to rubber bands
And can we say it’s wrong altogether
The world goes on forever
It still looks big

– “Big” by Less Than Jake

Written by Paul

September 27, 2008 at 6:04 pm

The Smile That Occupies My Mind

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Okay, so I’m going to come clean. I’ve gotten a lot more political in the last few months than I ever was during the entire three years I spent studying journalism at college. Still, I’ve had my mind made up for awhile now, and these debates seem to only lead to my confusion and befuddlement about the opposite podium’s perspective. I mean…some of the responses and facial ticks just make me want to scream the hair right off of my head.

So show me something we haven’t heard yet
But I’m not convinced and your hopeless songs won’t stick
But I, I’ll sing you something you won’t forget
For the first time I know this is now who I am

– “Season” by The Academy Is

Written by Paul

September 26, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Posted in comics, jerks, politics, world

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The Gift Card Conundrum

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I immediately went home and threw it in the trashcan. Either way, I still can’t get the Target kid’s look of abstract horror out of my mind. I mean, really, who in their right mind gets a card with $0.01 on it? Only a madman, that’s who! All right, I’m going to go work on my evil robot then…

REMINDER: I’m posting TWO comics a day until the week is over. Check below for an earlier comic!

They tell me to be discreet for all intended purposes
They tell me revenge is sweet and from where they stand, I’m sure it is
But I feel nothing for their game where beauty goes unrecognized
All I feel is heat and flame and all I see are dark eyes

– “Dark Eyes” by Bob Dylan

Written by Paul

September 25, 2008 at 7:11 pm

Trying to Send a Simple Otter E-Card

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I blame the…Internet?

To rectify this situation, here’s what the e-card might’ve looked like:

I know, I know. Dorkasaur, right here…

Well I suppose we’ll all make our judgment call
We’ll walk it alone, stand up tall, then march to the fall
So we better be happy now that we’ll all go home

– “Boy’s Gone” by Jason Mraz

Written by Paul

September 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm