…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for May 2008

#361 – White Sangria

with 7 comments

Seriously, y’all should be jealous. But maybe, just maybe if you are nice enough and compliment D until she is beaming more than a billion stars could ever hope for, she might share the recipe. It was simply fantastic, especially the fruit that had been soaking up all that peach schnapps mmm. I want more. Beach house in OC, perhaps?

So, the LOST season finale was pretty dang great. I won’t be spoiling any of it for those that missed out tonight, but I got especially weepy when a certain time-lost lovers ended all the mindfuck and found each other…yet again. Gah, I’m such a mess for them. During the commercials I sang a song in their honor…

Lastly, thanks to Memorial Day, we’re already at Friday. That’s nice. The short workweek went surprisingly fast for moi. I know I say this a lot, but I plan to get a lot of shtuff done this weekend. Maybe even do some research on how to spend my rebate check (yes, Mom, it arrived!)…my eyes are flickering towards a lappy top. Er, laptop. Anyways, what are your plans for the weekend?

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say

– “All I Want” by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Written by Paul

May 30, 2008 at 12:00 am

#360 – Unrecognizable Woman

with 11 comments

…and only about a few hours ago, as I was drawing this comic, did I realize who she was. She used to work in the mailroom at Richard Stockton College of NJ when I was a slave employee there. I used to say hello to her five days a week for like forever. I guess we never really learned each other’s names though. Our relationship was thus: I walked up to the counter, smiled, she gave me the day’s mail, I left. Anyways, if she somehow stumbles over here…hello! Give me my mail now!

In other news, I’ve put my writing blog Wistful Writings on official hiatus. I can’t really manage both of these sites, and the truth is I’m done with writing about writing. For the most part. I will share news when it happens, of course. That said, here’s what short stories I’m having published in 2008/2009 so far:

* “So Go the Seasons” – forthcoming in Black Gate (???).
* “Pigment” – forthcoming in Farrago’s Wainscot, Issue 8 (October 2008).
* “Imaginary Puissance” – forthcoming in Fictitious Force (???).
* “The Feet Eaters” – originally published in Aberrant Dreams (January 2007), this is being re-printed in Aberrant Dreams I, The Awakening — Anthology (August 2008), which should be in actual bookstores if I remember correctly.

So, there you go. My spout of self-promotion. Don’t worry…it doesn’t happen often. D, you already know the story of “So Go the Seasons” since I, in a Sangria-induced daze, told you it in its entirety.

Wow, it’s already Thursday. Huh, how ’bout that?

You’ll never take this stop to make amends that we can’t meet
You’re starting over to remember who you were
Wasting everything on what you’re living for
I know the reason and there’s just no reason

– “One Shot, Two Shots” by The Format

Written by Paul

May 29, 2008 at 12:00 am

#359 – Entering Victoria’s Secret

with 12 comments

Mmm yeah, it’s as if everything in Victoria’s Secret is seemingly laced with plutonium or sulfuric acid. I kid, I kid. It’s not that bad. Well, maybe.

But enough about that. Let’s get on to the real meat of today’s post. And that would be? Why, Italian Spiderman, of course:

Did you watch it? Huh? It’s both ridiculous and awesome, sort of like an extra super large jumbo sandwich brimming with extra cheese and pickles! I would totally watch this if it were a movie. Oh wait. It sort of really is one. More like a made for-the-web TV show, with the first episode here, which is even more awesomer (not a word) than the trailer leads one to believe. All I’m gonna say is that it ends with a blast and that Toby Maguire really needs to be packing a pump-action shotgun in Spiderman 4. Needless to say, I’m a follower.

Lingerie and bad Italian mustaches. You really do get it all here at MyLifeComics

Fill these spaces up with days
in my room you can go you can stay
I can’t sleep
I can’t speak to you, I can’t sleep
now these years locked on my drawer
I’ll open to see just to be sure

– “Sleep” by Azure Ray

Written by Paul

May 28, 2008 at 12:00 am

#358 – Hitting a Possum

with 13 comments

Personally, I think it’s in a ditch somewhere. ::sad face::

So, the weekend was crazy good. Lots of food and wine and DSing and hanging out with the family. Plus, lots of thingies happened. If you ever decide to draw a comic strip about your day-to-day life, go home every now and then. Fodder up the wazoo! I probably won’t remember most of it when it comes time to d-d-draw though. Oh wells. C’est la vie. Momma Dukes had a nice b-day at home, replete with kabobs and bony shad and strawberry-laden desserts. She sure knows how to turn 35 in style! 😛

Oh, Trina, there was one license plate that caught my eye on the drive down to my folks’ pad; it said: I DIVE. Thought you’d appreciate that one.

But for now, I will go and pass out. Cause it’s back to work I go…

Question of the day: How was your Memorial Day and did you really pay honest-to-goodness money to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Tsk tsk. Should’ve seen Prince Caspian, like D and I did. Cause, y’know, we’re awesome like that.

If I could, I’d make up a world as foggy as I feel, and tender as a nerve
The glass of our heads, upon which we stood
And said if I could I’d break these doubting words in your head
I would break this doubting world from our head
If I could, I would tear this love from no one

– “We Get Down” by Aloha

Written by Paul

May 27, 2008 at 12:01 am

#357 – Recession Check

with 8 comments

Officially my second letter stating that my check was coming soon. Gee, thanks. How ’bout you just send me the check, IRS people? Hmm? Well, the letter said I should be getting it by today though I won’t be able to check my mail until I return to my apartment late Monday. So, really, it doesn’t matter. For now. I’m still not spending the money in my head until I have the actual check in my hands…but I’m toying with the idea of a laptop (cause it really is silly for me to think I’d ever buy a new videogame system when I barely have time to play anything nowadays as is)…

The weekend is here. Yay! I have Monday off from worky work, which means no new comic until Tuesday. As they’d say in that big British land across the pond, I’m taking a holiday. I’m also making the big drive down to South Jersey to enjoy the next three days with Momma Dukes, Dadster, and D. There will be wine and games and sleep and relaxing and DSing and just mmm doing a lot of nothing as well. Clearly, I’m excited.

But what about y’all? Any big plans for the Memorial Day weekend?

Over here the ladies all want sweet perfume
But there’s never a rose
And over the roses are frightened to bloom
So they never can grow

– “Lost in the Habour” by Tom Waits

Written by Paul

May 23, 2008 at 12:00 am

#356 – License Plate Number

with 11 comments

That’s right. I said humdinger.

Anyways, there are a lot of other numbers I have confidently memorized. My social security number, my birthday, my weight, my bank account balance (roughly), the time both of my alarms go off in the morning, my cell phone number, my pin number for my debit card, and the number of times I’ve watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition).

But my license plate number?

Nope, nope, nope.

Question of the day: How much, say on a scale of 1 to 10, do you want to throw empty water bottles at those people with personalized license plates like 2BLND4U, CONDUMB, GURUGLY, and TOO HOT?

I’m a 7.

Did you find, what you wanted?
Another match, for the straw man
I’ve had enough, it can bleed through
You think your tough well
This is the last one

– “The Last One” by Cary Brothers

Written by Paul

May 22, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in business, cars

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#355 – Books That Make Me Cry

with 8 comments

…and here’s why:

For A Separate Peace, it’s the moment Gene learns about Finny’s doleful fate.

For High Fidelity, it’s the part where Rob Fleming talks about his birthday plans for when he turns thirty-six (it involves renting Robocop 2) and the love only parents can really give back to their children.

For The Gold Cell, it’s the poem “Saturn,” which is about Sharon Olds’s father eating his children limb by limb.

Also, I hit a possum tonight with my car. Its fate is unknown. That makes me a bit weepy too. I didn’t mean it, little possum! You scared the frakking shit out of me and I had no time to brake!

Ugh, today’s post is BEYOND emo.

I’m sorry life isn’t perfect
but I promise we won’t starve
in a small dark apartment with big bright hearts

– “Don’t Try This at Home” by Punchline

Written by Paul

May 21, 2008 at 12:00 am

#354 – The Moldy Cheese

with 14 comments

“Dang rotten kids, with their loud music and nose rings!” says Paul doing his cranky, old man impression. “Thinking a PA system in ShopRite is some kind of toy! Why, when I was their age, I didn’t even ever have a toy. I played with my big toe just to pass the time. And then I walked uphill to school. Barefoot. In the snow. EVERY DAY. Dang kids.”

Hmm, okay. Glad that that is out of my system now…

Question of the day: Which of you is the one with the moldy cheese and why on Earth are you hiding it in your pants?

The big stars that crash cars and get paid
To say lines and pay fines and get laid
I don’t have to look to see
That that place isn’t me
The guitars and money the big shots
Bad cops and charities go by

– “Bad Cops, Bad Charities” by PlayRadioPlay

Written by Paul

May 20, 2008 at 12:00 am

#353 – Picking a Movie

with 6 comments

Tough choice, yes?

I don’t have much to say because I worked myself like a dog today, drawing and coloring thingies, taking only small breaks to watch some of the Indiana Jones marathon that was on this afternoon. I still say that The Temple of Doom is the best, quickly followed by Raiders of the Lost Ark, and then, distantly, oh so distantly, trailing like a dying beast that is slowly succumbing to a mixture of exhaustion and dehydration, is The Last Crusade. It’s too campy…even for me. Sean Connery alone does not make a film great.

And I don’t know about this new one, this Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. My Spider Sense is tingling, warning me that my childhood nostalgia is in danger. We’ll see…

Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?!

That is all.

They were looking for me when I came to
They were looking for me when I came back
Said, “Hey you, you’re looking very suspicious”
I said, “Relax man get off my back”

– “Open Up” by Dispatch

Written by Paul

May 19, 2008 at 12:02 am

#352 – No Pauls

with 9 comments

Let’s see, let’s see. Yesterday’s bacon comic strip is currently being featured on the front page of WordPress. That’s nice. Hello, new visitors. Please say hi! I won’t bite! Also, evidently just mentioning bacon gets people all excited. Like…orgasm excited. I guess that’s good to know.

Mmm Friday is here, quickly to be followed by the weekend. Hopefully not too quickly. Hmm, here’s a first in a long time. I’m going to spend some of it with my girlfriend. And I solemnly swear that I will finish up all my freelance work this weekend so that it can be dead and done and out of my mind. Please tell me what y’all are up to. Bonus points if you mention either ice cream or gardening.

Question of the day: Excluding me, do you know another Paul? If you don’t, give me a dollar.

Always waiting
For my ride to pick me up on my time
Seems I’m staying
As the others cross the finish lines
I could break into day I could set into speed
But to tell you the truth I’m always waiting
Always waiting

– “Waiting” by Mae

Written by Paul

May 16, 2008 at 12:00 am