MyLifeComics

…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for the ‘travel’ Category

Recepción a Otro Mundo

with 3 comments

006-recepcionmundo2

Okay, you caught me…I don’t actually own a mini-cactus, but if I did I’d totally place it next to my alarm clock to create these funny Full House-like situations (this is something Uncle Joey would totally do and you know it).

But yeah, somehow I’ve been oversleeping normal alarm clock and my cell phone alarm, which most people would compare to the sound of seven fire trucks all converging towards the same burning building. Huh, go figure. So, this works…for now, despite those rare mornings where I really have no idea where I am.

Also, feel free to correct my Spanish. I did what I could with it…

QUESTION OF THE DAY: How many alarms does it take to get a hobbit out of bed?

Does the couch pull out?
Are you kissed goodnight?
How is Memphis tonight?
I don’t believe that everybody’s lonely underneath it all.

– “I’m Winning the Race” by Inkwell

Written by Paul

April 26, 2009 at 10:44 pm

Trying to X-mas Shop on a Sunday Afternoon

with 5 comments

2008-12-141

Anyone that knows me knows this: I’m a patient man hobbit. Yet, in this world of ours, there are a few things that I can’t handle and one of them in particular is parking lots during the holiday buying season. It’s just so…unmanageable. Chaotic might be an even more apt word. People are just the rudest then, jetting forward in their cars to snatch up any free rectangle-shaped space with no regard for those that were there first, blinker at the ready. I even saw some cars double-parking, which is awful for all.

It’s amazing we don’t read more newspaper headlines in December like “Man Shot One Hundred and Three Times After Stealing Soccer Mom’s Spot” or “Target Indeterminately Shut Down, Too Much Blood.”

But I learned my lesson. From now on, if I do have to get some X-mas shopping done, I’m going out Tuesday nights after 11:00 p.m. Granted, no stores will be open then…but at least I’ll get a good parking spot.

I’m making the difference
It just seems pointless
With all the obvious lines all out of focus
Why can’t you just be happy
Why can’t you just be happy

– “One-Eighty by Summer” by Taking Back Sunday

Written by Paul

December 14, 2008 at 10:06 am

#389 – Vacation Ends

with 5 comments

Guess who didn’t feel like drawing people for this comic? Go on. Guess.

Hey, who else heard about Batman going a little batty? Where was my old man crush, Sir Michael Caine, when all of this was going on? Where oh where? WHERE WAS BRUCE’S BRITISHY VOICE OF REASON?

Snapple Real Facts #197: The first person crossed Niagara Falls by tightrope in 1859.

The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction
A real big spender
Good looking, so refined
Say wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on in my mind

– “Big Spender” by Queen

Written by Paul

July 23, 2008 at 12:00 am

#386 – Crabby Morning

with 9 comments

Did the sun succeed? Was it worth all the trouble he went through to pinpoint me, zero in, and focus its little deathray-esque eyes on the back of my legs? Well, you be the judge:

In Fortuitous Twist news, the second page of Chapter One is now up. Go check it out! Also, D, you know you can add the site to your RSS reader so you won’t miss a thang, yes? Get to it.

Well, the weekend is here. My big plans are seeing The Dark Knight, which might really be the first film of 2008 that I truly am excited to see. This will also mark down another day in history because I normally abhor going to the movie theaters on opening night, but this time I am willing to deal with the hordes of rowdy teenagers and stupid cell phone users. Yay, America! I mean…Batman!

What are you up to?

Snapple Real Fact #76: The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime.

I am no masterpiece where innocence is painted green.
Isn’t it strange to think that you created all of me?

– “Masterpiece” by Meg & Dia

Written by Paul

July 18, 2008 at 12:00 am

#384 – Mini-Golfing Rejection

with 7 comments

For those of you that don’t know–and shame on you–the nineteenth hole here is not referencing the nearest pub to the course (of which, in Ocean City, there are none), but instead is talking about the final hole offered to players in a round a miniature golf. It is the bane of golf swings worldwide, a slender slab of faux grass and trite design aesthetics that lavishly promise any putter that sinks a hole-in-one a free game. But that doesn’t happen. Not now, not ever. Go ahead and think of someone, anyone at all. Have they ever won a free game like so? I think nots. It is impossible to work the nineteenth hole’s magic, and having people shout “Rejected!” at you only adds insult to injury. Still, I won…so neener neener neener.

Snapple Real Fact #173: Chinese is the most spoken language in the world.

Someone come quickly, this place was built for moving out
Leave behind buildings, the city planners got mapped out
Bring with you history and make your hard-earned feast
Then we’ll go to Omaha, to work and exploit the booming music scene and humility
And we’ve been talking all night

– “The Execution of All Things” by Rilo Kiley

Written by Paul

July 16, 2008 at 12:00 am

Posted in bitsy, comics, D, funny, games, sports, travel, vacation

Tagged with , ,

#383 – Mysterious Beep

with 5 comments

True story.

So, for those that are interested, the first page of chapter one for Fortuitous Twist is now posted. I’m not going to be promoting the comic hardcore until I get a few more pages done. Then you’re going to have to staple my lips shut because I really do have a lot of faith in the thing and want to see it do well and get it out to readers because I’m sure it is much more accessible to readers than these journal comics could ever be. If you’re inclined to comment, just click on the latest comic and add your thoughts below.

Also, I’m much better now, thanks. Consider my batteries recharged…

Snapple Real Fact #27: A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber.

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world.
You tell me that it’s evolution,
Well, you know
We all want to change the world.

– “Revolution” by The Beatles

Written by Paul

July 15, 2008 at 12:00 am

#380 – Storm Watchers

with 13 comments

This storm floated in the first night of vacation at the beach house. It was pretty cool, watching the lightning flashes and all, but being on the boards all by yourself (save for the lone bicyclist) around one in the morning is a wee bit freaky. Totally worth it though.

I guess I should mention that today I’m a wee bit older, even though I don’t really want to. Quarter of a century, folks. D got me this little book of Snapple Real Facts, which I’ll be tossing in these posts. So, you better enjoy them…or you won’t gain any knowledge! Take that!

And in future news, today I will eat some cake.

Snapple Real Fact #74: You share your birthday with at least a million other people.

On a Tuesday in the rain,
I never thought there’d come a day.
I never thought there’d come a day, yea.
If I put myself to the test,
would I ever raise a fist.
Would I just shut my mouth,
would I just block it out.

– “Nervous in the Alley” by Less Than Jake

Written by Paul

July 10, 2008 at 12:00 am

A Missed Connection, and VACATION

with 8 comments

So, back in 2007, there was an open submission period for this anthology called Missed Connections edited by Julia Wertz (of The Fart Party fame). The theme of the book was both simple and imaginative: look up some Missed Connections posts on Craigslist, find one that called to you, and illustrate it however you pleased. Sounded like fun so I gave it a shot. I searched and searched and then drew and drew and then, when push came to shove and the deadline loomed nearer, I got scared and never submitted the thing. Yes, I rejected myself. One day I’ll do a post on why this is a big no-no (as well as a major hurdle) and how it applies to both the art field and the writing field, but for now I’ll just say that I didn’t think I had what it took and rather than be told that by someone I admire I just sat in the dark and pretended like I never put pencil to paper in the beginning. Okay, enough of me talking here, this is what I did (excuse the bad scanning job):

Yeah, so that’s that. I apologize for the lack of MyLifeComics this week, but I hope you’ve enjoyed Tara’s guest comic, the small taste of The Zane Lane, and the above work of art. I promise to return with a bundle of comics about Bitsy winning at Scrabble, D doing battle with Murphy’s Law, and Momma Dukes pounding back some wine like a true champion. Plus, girlfriend moments! All I ask is that a seagull doesn’t shit on my head again. So yes, for now, this is where I’m heading to and I couldn’t be more excited:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right
Little darling it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling it feels like years since it’s been here

– “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles

Written by Paul

June 27, 2008 at 12:00 am

#349 – Late for Dinner

with 12 comments

In case you don’t already know, and really now people, pay the frak attention, I’m always getting lost. I’m 50% Irish, 50% Italian, and 100% Lost. Also, I’m not good at math…

Some link salad, no dressing:

  • Yesterday’s Stuff White People Like was hysterical, so funny that I’m linking to it here and telling you to go and read it up.
  • Sandra McDonald, author of The Outback Stars and The Stars Down Under, has begun posting the comics I drew for her latest book, which can be seen here. More are on their way, and if you find yourself intrigued from what you see, definitely check out her books. They have spaceships, alien technology, and smooching.
  • One of my new favorite webcomics to read is Unshelved; it’s about books, ’nuff said.

Okay, that’s it. Go, be entertained.

Question of the day: If Mapquest was a person and you ran into him/her in a dark alley, would shit go down, as they say on the streets of high society? Personally, I think he has a lot coming to him. Namely, a couple of punches to the nether regions and that’s a major no-no in the world of man-to-man combat.

I’m just a face for every picture
A smile for your scrapbooks
And a story to be told
But I’m loving every second
So commemorate this hour
As the last I spend regretting what I have

– “This is How We Do” by All Time Low

Written by Paul

May 13, 2008 at 12:01 am

#343 – Lion Mountain

with 8 comments

Just think about it, people. Saturday night, a prime time of 9:00 p.m., you’re sitting around in your undies flipping through the channels in search of something good to watch. Something entertaining, something smart, something worth your very brain cells. And then a new show debuts, my show, replete with a tribal-heavy soundtrack of bongos and frenetic chanting: “Boy VS. The World with Lion Mountain”

I know, right. It sounds pretty dang awesome already. What’s the premise? Why, I’m glad you asked.

In “Boy VS. The World with Lion Mountain,” I travel all across the globe, taking on the challenges that greater men prior failed at. For example, in the very first episode, I slay an ogre. Future episodes may or may not see me doing battle with an army of undead soldiers, climbing Mount Everest, and creating the first flying car in a race of time against my weekly nemesis Dr. Brains (portrayed by none other than the sexy Michael Caine). So set your TIVOs and recording devices because, really, I’m taking over your television sets very, very soon. All your base are belong to us. If you don’t get that last part, it’s okay.

Now all I need is a catchphrase…

Question of the day: How ridiculous is Bear Grylls?

Your ship may be coming in
You’re weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below

– “A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley

Written by Paul

May 5, 2008 at 12:00 am