…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for the ‘pwned’ Category

The Solution to the Scorn of Old People

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New rule! If nothing interesting or exciting or cartoonishly obtuse happens that is worth me exploring or even spending more than five minutes thinking about, I’m just gonna make shit up. I’ll leave it to y’all to play detective/CSI agent and figure out what is real and what is not. So go ahead. Start investigating…

Karma police
Arrest this man
He talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge
He’s like a de-tuned radio

– “Karma Police” by Radiohead

Written by Paul

October 21, 2008 at 6:39 pm

#390 – War, the Movie

with 8 comments

Yeah, so War, well…it’s a bit ridiculous. I guess that is to be expected, considering the two head-to-head starpunchers are Jason Statham and Jet Li. I might re-watch it, one day, possibly before 2017 hits, just to have my mind blown again, but it isn’t really a pressing matter at the moment. Still, I like the Transporter dude, despite him being the same dude in every film ever. He could’ve starred in Mamma Mia! and I’d have gone to watch it so long as he yelled, kicked ass, and punched out Pierce Brosnan for singing off key. Granted, that’s the only way I’d see such a film ever, but that’s just how I roll.

And now, for everyone’s enjoyment (and to appease my sanity), my to-do list:

  • Light rewrite on “The Lady of Jeweled Dreams”
  • Finish “Five Meals in a Barlorian Five-Star Restaurant”
  • Finish “Space Forbid” and think of a much much better title for the piece
  • Write something for the newly announced Cinema Spec: Tales of Hollywood and Fantasy anthology, the followup to Sporty Spec: Games of the Fantastic where y’all can find my tale of futuristic horseracing “The Sport of Kings”
  • Complete the contract from Fictitious Force for “Imaginary Puissance” and write up less than 250 words about the story itself (eep!)
  • Draw the third page for Fortuitous Twist
  • Draw a short comic about time travel for the Undoomed zine’s first issue
  • Get caught up here at MyLifeComics-land
  • Read!
  • Renew my car insurance
  • Call about getting a new coupon book from my student loan people since they seem to love to forget to send me a new one when the time rolls around for a new one to be sent, jerks

Mmm, that’s actually quite small compared to previous versions. Yay? Yup, yay.

Oh, and remember that little naked baby swimming for a dollar on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind some seventeen years back? Well, he’s all grown up now.

Snapple Real Facts #107: You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Take up your arms
Sons and daughters
We will arise from the bunkers
By land, by sea, by dirigible
We’ll leave our tracks untraceable now

– “Sons and Daughters” by The Decemberists

Written by Paul

July 24, 2008 at 12:00 am

#364 – Pro CapriSun Opener

with 6 comments

Yes, I’m 24 years old and still drink CapriSuns. Deal with it. I’ll allow Tara to defend her claim at being a “pro” in the comments below…

Question of the day: Why the frak did none of you (excluding Bitsy) ask me a question yesterday? Don’t ask me one now. You missed your shot to learn all my dirty little secrets. Just tell me why! Sleep will not come to me unless it is known! Why?! Okay, that’s not terribly true. In fact, I’m going to sleep in just a few minutes. So there!

Is it all you’ve shared with them that makes us paranoid?
Is it the dream that one day you might be something you’re own?
Is it all you’ve shared with them that makes us paranoid?
Is it the dreams that make us real?

– “Junesong Provision” by Coheed and Cambria

Written by Paul

June 4, 2008 at 12:00 am

#306 – Happy Engineers

with 18 comments

I went to Rowan University, which, above all, is known for three things: being a suitcase college, its education department, and its engineers. That last group though, while often talked about, were rarely seen. They were the snow leopards of the campus, taking to their building and living there for nights upon nights, feasting on the meat of their weaker companions. At least, that’s what I think they did. I never knew an engineer for my entire four years of college, but from what the rumors whispered it sounded like they were the busiest of bodies. And so they deserve some time off, I’d say. Happy Engineers Week, everyone!

Also, I’m proud to be a New Jersian, if only because we can knock down New York governors like loose mailboxes.

If life had background music playing your song
I have got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

– “Dismantle Repair” by Anberlin

Written by Paul

March 13, 2008 at 8:39 am

Posted in ADD, cars, college, news, pwned, weirdness

WordPress Tags I am Claiming

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Currently, the following are WordPress tags that I’ve created and used that, as of this post and this very super exciting moment, have not been snatched up by anyone else so far: foodwhore, elevator lunacy, airport fun, apartment shtuff, coffee love, momma dukes, unused comics, and violently vulgar.

Granted, a few of those are two worders, making it harder to hit the mark, but the point still remains.  The tag for Bitsy came real close, but someone wrote a post about that shtupid nursery rhyme spider and ruined my chances at world domination. Oh wells. Still, I’m surprised no one else has picked up on foodwhore. It really is the best way to describe a man’s (or woman’s) uncontrollable love for food.

This post will solidify that I am either a genius at creating new tags…or a horrible fool.

Yeah, I was kinda bored. Don’t hate!

Written by Paul

January 25, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Posted in pwned, weirdness, wordpress

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