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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Ghosting Around

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I’ve been wanting to draw some new MyLifeComics as of late, but it just isn’t happening…on both a physical and mental level. I even took notes to do hourly comics for last Saturday, but meh. Can’t do it. Need more cowbell or something. Plus, I’ve been focusing on Supertown and writing thingies. But I did manage to crank out two ghost-themed comics tonight for y’all. Enjoy:

Written by Paul

January 14, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Speeding Home for the Holidays

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We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
We’ll take that ride
Maybe you wonder where you are
I don’t care
Here is where time’s on our side
Take you there

– “Road to Nowhere” by Talking Heads

Written by Paul

December 23, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Posted in cars, comics, family, holiday humor, jokes

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Pam’s Bad Joke

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I think the only thing I really like about her joke–which she claims she stole from the BBC–is that the “teddy bear” part can be replaced. With anything. Buy a pickup truck, buy a cranberry scone, buy a pooper-scooper for heaven’s sake. Just name it Mohammed and you are golden to tell this joke. Now that’s funny…

Oh, for the curious (that’d be none of you), we were playing Chez Geek. Fun game, great cards, devilish humor, and a bit of backstabbery, all in good spirit. Cass/Tyrone almost claimed victory; Tommy Gun won. I was stuck delivering pizzas. Snartleblast.

Written by Paul

August 3, 2008 at 11:28 pm

Posted in comics, funny, games, jokes, weirdness

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A Taste of The Zane Lane

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Come on, everybody! Hop in the DeLorean and let’s travel back to 1999! This was a time when I breathed, ate, drank, and slept everything Gary Larson. The Far Side remains to this day one of those strips that is beyond timeless, weirdly weird, and rewarding, and I never miss a chance to flip through my old collectives. Those one-panel gags, so great and funny and thought-provoking…well, you saw what happened when I fell in love with Calvin and Hobbes, remember? Here’s what came out of my 16-year-old head at the time, a bunch of gags under the brand name of The Zane Lane:

The one just above here is a little cut off. It reads: “They had no identity on themselves so we’re calling them John and Jane Doe.” Yeah, I’m a frakking riot. Always was, always will be. There’s more from The Zane Lane, but I’ll let y’all sweat it out some more…

There should be MyLifeComics up for tomorrow and Friday, depending on my workload. I still have so much on my to-do list that ISN’T crossed off yet and vacation looms. Blargh, but not blarghing about vacation. Blarghing about the stress of things to do. :/

Oh, and I added a page for my bibliography. Go check out where I’ve had short stories published at! Go! Get! SCRAM!

Written by Paul

June 25, 2008 at 12:00 am

#373 – Politics Dinner

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To begin, this is my first post here at MyLifeComics from my MacBook. Mmm I lurve it already. It runs really great and everything is so simple on a Mac. I haven’t done too much with it from lack of time, but I’m slowly bringing everything over to here from my PC. But yeah, it’s all very shiny and cool. Stay tuned for tomorrow where I’ll be running a small contest in which the lappy top acquires its True Name. And no, it’s not going to be your name. As if!

But yes, politics. The bane of my existence. Or maybe the punchline. What’s the joke then, you ask? I graduated college with a degree in journalism, a major where more than a good percentage of news being reported is…political. Ah. Yeah, it’s not really that funny. I just can’t get too passionate about it all. Elephants, donkeys, third parties, debates, scandals, slander, campaigns…it’s all just too much. I’d rather eat pretzels and watch TV shows about a ragtag group of survivors in outer space trying to find their way to Earth…

Question of the day: What subjects do you have trouble talking about, whether it’s from lack of knowledge or sheer discomfort or whatever you will? Animal rights? Foreign trade? Unicorns?

Hey now the straw dog’s out in the street
Hey now there’s chemicals in the clouds
Hey now they’re calling all the police
But they won’t get to us
No they’ll never get to us

– “Straw Dog” by Something Corporate

Written by Paul

June 17, 2008 at 12:00 am

#353 – Picking a Movie

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Tough choice, yes?

I don’t have much to say because I worked myself like a dog today, drawing and coloring thingies, taking only small breaks to watch some of the Indiana Jones marathon that was on this afternoon. I still say that The Temple of Doom is the best, quickly followed by Raiders of the Lost Ark, and then, distantly, oh so distantly, trailing like a dying beast that is slowly succumbing to a mixture of exhaustion and dehydration, is The Last Crusade. It’s too campy…even for me. Sean Connery alone does not make a film great.

And I don’t know about this new one, this Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. My Spider Sense is tingling, warning me that my childhood nostalgia is in danger. We’ll see…

Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?!

That is all.

They were looking for me when I came to
They were looking for me when I came back
Said, “Hey you, you’re looking very suspicious”
I said, “Relax man get off my back”

– “Open Up” by Dispatch

Written by Paul

May 19, 2008 at 12:02 am

#334 – Whiney Roads

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We’re a bit silly. If you don’t get the joke, I don’t know what to tell you…

Now, of all the superhero movies coming out this summer (Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, The Dark Knight), I have to say I’m most excited about the latter. Here’s the newest trailer for it:

Reasons why it’ll rock? My old man crush, Michael Caine, is back as the serenely charming Alfred. The Joker looks to be a great villain. And Tom Cruise’s wife is gone from the film! So there, three solid reasons it should be awesome. Plus, I really enjoyed Batman Begins if only for how they handled the superhero’s plight into knighthood. They didn’t make it cheesy or over-the-top. It was sensible, thoughtful, and actually, um, believable. And we’re talking about a man dressed as a bat here so that’s a good thing. Are you gonna check the new movie out?

Comics for Comic Con (hmm too many cos right there) will start tomorrow…

Written by Paul

April 22, 2008 at 8:38 am

#288 – Angry Old People

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Sorry, but unlike the last time I went, I do not remember any of the jokes. Not to say there weren’t any good ones. Though there might’ve been a few stinkers in the bunch. It happens.

I can’t believe the weekend is already here. And I have Monday off, w00t! No new comic until Tuesday. What do I plan on doing with my free time? Well, I just bought Professor Layton and the Curious Village so that might be my BFF for a bit. Also, the standard usuals of writing, drawing, and dreaming of sleeping. What is everyone else up to?

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

– “I’m Only Sleeping” by The Beatles

Written by Paul

February 15, 2008 at 9:37 am

#255 – Terrible Headache

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Happy Friday, everybody!

I don’t have much to say this morning so…know any good holiday jokes? They can be intellectual or corny. Doesn’t matter to me.

Lastly, let’s hear what you’re up to this weekend. Seeing I Am Legend? Finishing up those last minute gift ideas? Snuggling with a cat?

Written by Paul

December 14, 2007 at 9:40 am

Posted in health, jokes

#207 – Knock-Knock Joke

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Know any good knock-knock jokes? Please refrain from using any involving the interrupting cow (MOO!).

Thanks for everyone’s input on the iPod situation! I’m gonna go perusing tonight and see what I see. If I end up getting one, well, then that’ll be my entire weekend. We’ll hang out together, watch movies, listen to tunes, maybe even take a nap! Man, this is getting weird! I hope your weekend plans are much more normal.

Written by Paul

October 5, 2007 at 8:39 am

Posted in entertainment, jokes