MyLifeComics

…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for the ‘business’ Category

Trying to X-mas Shop on a Sunday Afternoon

with 5 comments

2008-12-141

Anyone that knows me knows this: I’m a patient man hobbit. Yet, in this world of ours, there are a few things that I can’t handle and one of them in particular is parking lots during the holiday buying season. It’s just so…unmanageable. Chaotic might be an even more apt word. People are just the rudest then, jetting forward in their cars to snatch up any free rectangle-shaped space with no regard for those that were there first, blinker at the ready. I even saw some cars double-parking, which is awful for all.

It’s amazing we don’t read more newspaper headlines in December like “Man Shot One Hundred and Three Times After Stealing Soccer Mom’s Spot” or “Target Indeterminately Shut Down, Too Much Blood.”

But I learned my lesson. From now on, if I do have to get some X-mas shopping done, I’m going out Tuesday nights after 11:00 p.m. Granted, no stores will be open then…but at least I’ll get a good parking spot.

I’m making the difference
It just seems pointless
With all the obvious lines all out of focus
Why can’t you just be happy
Why can’t you just be happy

– “One-Eighty by Summer” by Taking Back Sunday

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Written by Paul

December 14, 2008 at 10:06 am

Christmas Shoppers Are My Tenth Circle of Hell

with 6 comments

2008-12-12

I need to take a lesson from Bitsy and get all my holiday shopping done by the end of summer. The swarms of people is maddening, and this is just another reason why I should live in a small cabin in the woods and not a big-time city full of hustle and bustle. I just don’t like crowds; I can’t concentrate as well, and there’s a cow mentality (moooooo) that just gets under my skin.

Question of the day: What’s your favorite circle of hell from Dante’s Inferno?

Mine would be the Third Circle. Down with gluttons, down with gluttons!

Them stories that you tell me are so hard to swallow
You said “Go to hell” but I know you’d just follow
The future’s closing in quicker than you think
and hanging with you I know why Henry drinks

– “Why Henry Drinks” by Drive-By Truckers

Written by Paul

December 12, 2008 at 11:41 am

Posted in business, comics, death, spending money

Tagged with , , ,

Getting Accosted in a Parking Lot

with 6 comments

2008-12-10

He needs to work on his sales pitch a bit more, methinks. If only he’d been trying to sell me an Xbox 360 or a Boston terrier or a tuna sammich with black olives from his scary rape-van then I’d have been all like, “YES, I DO KNOW I WANT ONE OF THOSE THINGS!”

Question of the day: Have you ever been buttonholed like this before?

It’s not so bad being trendy
Everyone who looks like me is my friend
Please don’t hate me because I’m trendy
They’re not gonna laugh at me again

– “Trendy” by Reel Big Fish

Written by Paul

December 10, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Yet Another Adventure in Ordering Hot Drinks By Accident

with 10 comments

2008-11-09

If you are getting a flash of déjà vu, do not fret. It is true. We flubbed up…for a second time. The drink we ordered this time around is known as the Peppermint Mocha Trio (also, spot the grammar error in the drink’s description and you’ll win an invisible prize!), and of the two versions, the cold one takes the race by a landslide. Something about the hot liquid and the crushed bits of peppermint candy really confuses my tongue.

Anyways, one of the interesting things about doing this journal comic thing is learning that life repeats. Whether it is on the grand scale or the minute one, it happens. You see the same people every day, you do the same things, you eat the same food, you try to mix it up when you can, but for the most part it is all pretty much parallel. Some might not see it, but I do. I find this sort of redundancy funny, amusing even, but I’m not looking forward to having my drink ordered messed up for a third time.

What’s the use in worrying, what’s the use in hurrying
Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy

– “Dancing Nancies” by Dave Matthews Band

Written by Paul

November 9, 2008 at 6:27 pm

Site Stats Are a Mountain to Climb

with 11 comments

2008-10-27

Bonus laughs if you know what my last name means in Italian…and bonus bonus laughs if you know the meaning of my first name. Irony is a cruel kitten, and I’ll leave you to your research.

So yeah, seeing as today’s comic is all about site stats and folks reading my journal comics, I’m gonna put on the puppy eyes and ask that if you like my work–which, for all purposes at the moment, is basically a colored journal comic a day–then how about sharing this appreciation with the universe? The truth is I have a very small readership (no crying, I less than three all of you as if you were tuna sandwiches or unagi rolls!), but a little link to here can’t ever hurt and will only assist me in achieving the status of Supreme Being or something akin to that. Plus, I love comments…so let’s get more commenters up in this shack!

This is me sucking a self-promotion. Please help.

I’ll tell you how the story’s told
I always wanted so much more
And way on down the road
I caught a glimpse of the sunlight

– “So Far” by Buckcherry

Written by Paul

October 27, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Woman at Bank has a Baby at Home

with 6 comments

2008-10-26

A few things…

1. I’m not sure why I look so muscular in panel one, but I can assure you that I’m far from being a bodybuilder’s doppelganger. I’m sure Tara will try to undermine this claim in the comments below, but believe me people–I get sore just lifting the covers over me at night!

2. Babies do not entitle people to whatever they want. I’m sorry, they just don’t. I waited (or queued if you’re British) patiently and properly; just because I didn’t squeeze something out of my who-ha doesn’t mean you get first grabs. Also, I couldn’t help but imagine her baby at home, all alone, crawling closer and closer to the unlocked liquor cabinet and rack of filthy magazines.

3. I apologize if I offended you (people that might have been offended include: women, women with babies, a baby, bodybuilders, alcoholics, and porno mag lovers).

The wind sounds just like the ocean
Blowing big through the trees in my backyard
I sit alone in a dark room smoking
And wondering where you are

– “Under the Western Stars” by Everclear

Written by Paul

October 26, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Posted in business, comics, jerks, rant, weirdness, women

Tagged with ,

Forgetting a Bag of Yogurts Sucks

with 5 comments

2008-10-23

Maybe I should just take this as a sign to buy more Ramen noodles over buying healthy-wealthy yogurt? Yes? Agree with me. You’ll make my wallet very happy.

Fun fact time! You can spell this magical dairy product lots of ways, see: yoghurt, yogurt, yoghourt, youghurt, or yogourt.

A knocked down dragged out fight
Fat lips and open wounds
Another wasted night and no one will take the fall

– “Worry Rock” by Green Day

Written by Paul

October 23, 2008 at 7:00 pm