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Percy Jackson and The Lightning Doodie

with 9 comments

It was bad. Other words to describe the experience include: abominable, atrocious, awful, contemptible, criminal, dire, disgraceful, disgusting, execrable, heinous, loathsome, low, malodorous, mean, obnoxious, peccant, putrid, rancid, rank, reprehensible, repulsive, rotten, sad, scandalous, shameful, sickening, stinking, terrible, unfavorable, vile, villainous, wicked, wretched, and wrong. Really, any of those will work. Also, doodie.

If you’ve read the book, I suggest you stay far, far away. If you haven’t read the book, let me spoil one part for you in the hopes that you’ll understand I’m doing it for your own good and to save you money and time and brain cells: you will, in all seriousness, witness teenage kids tripping on drug cookies while a satyr line-dances to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face.”

Exactly.

(Special thanks to Panlexicon for this entry.)

‘Cause I am due for a miracle
I’m waiting for a sign
I’ll stare straight into the sun
And I won’t close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

– “Stare at the Sun” by Thrice

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Written by Paul

February 14, 2010 at 10:16 pm

9 Responses

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  1. I agree, I concur.

    I swear I’ve never talked through a movie as much as I did with this. How HORRID. Every scene just made me want to gag, it was so wrong! And they plan to make more?? Please spare us! It stinks because if people are basing the book from what they see in the movie, they’ll be missing out on a great series!! >:\

    Tara

    February 14, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    • Heh, you had a comment for every minute. ❤

      The Golden Compass, Inkheart, Series of Unfortunate Events, this piece of sheet music…none of our series are turning out well in Hollywood's world. Sigh.

      Paul

      February 14, 2010 at 11:14 pm

  2. I tried to listen to the audiobook but I only got two hours in before “Percy’s” voice got to me and I had to shut it off. It sounds like it was really read by a 12 yr old kid. Buh.

    Joe Cook

    February 14, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    • Never tried the audiobooks, but loved all the books. Shame the movie didn’t even try very hard…

      Paul

      February 14, 2010 at 11:14 pm

  3. I actually thought Grover was the only funny part of the movie, and the only character with any charisma whatsoever. I felt as though I was in an elementary school in the theater I watched it. They didn’t introduce Clarisse or Ares, I felt like the movie lacked so much and was altered so poorly from the original material it was a straight to video release and they weren’t planning on making a sequel(or four)…

    tgjason

    February 24, 2010 at 3:01 am

    • And they didn’t even include the prophecy, which is what the entire series hinges on. Does that make any sense? It’s a cool part in the book, and it sets up tension for future installments because something bad is going to happen when Percy turns sixteen and…

      Oh, wait. They already aged him to 17. Bunch of doofus-heads.

      Paul

      February 24, 2010 at 9:55 pm

  4. Yeah, pretty much. My girlfriend and I read all the books over the last year and were pumped when we saw they were making a movie. We took the movie for what they made it for, a mindless kids “entertainment” flick. They definitely ruined the series already, as far as movies go.

    I hope the same doesn’t happen to my Hunger Games!

    tgjason

    February 27, 2010 at 6:14 am

    • I keep hearing good things about that book. Worth checking out?

      Paul

      March 1, 2010 at 3:42 pm

  5. Definitely worth checking out, it keeps such a great pace of juggling character development with new and intriguing revelations of the world the book takes place in. It’s got some setbacks being a YA book, but it’s definitely worth a look.

    tgjason

    March 3, 2010 at 11:00 pm


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