…and you thought your life was exciting!

Things I’ve Named

with 15 comments


So, help me out here and tell me all about the inanimate objects you’ve named so I don’t feel like a complete sociopath. Bonus points for truly geeky names. Not that we’re keeping score or anything, no.

I’ve become just like a terrible mess
Searching the lines in my face for
Something more beautiful than is there
But the crowds keep me coming back

– “My Slumbering Heart” by Rilo Kiley

Written by Paul

March 30, 2009 at 7:41 pm

15 Responses

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  1. Don’t worry, babe, I name everything, too.

    My car- Hayward
    My mac- Geddy

    and I know there is more, but I can’t seem to think of them.

    oh, can’t forget Tom the Tv.


    March 30, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    • We’ll name everything we come across from now on. 😛


      March 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm

  2. Great post! I can’t think of anything I call by a name. help?!


    March 30, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    • Hmm…me either. You need to spice your life up. Start small, however. I think a perfect name for your teeny iPod shuffle is Big Red (it’s red, right?).


      March 30, 2009 at 9:11 pm

  3. Um, I can’t think of anything I’ve named. I mean, I have a personalized license plate for my car, but that’s my name, not the cars.

    Mr. Suckface is quite good. But Green Thing? That sucks.


    March 30, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    • You don’t want to know what Green Thing is like angry. Arrrrrrrgh HULK SMAASSH! GRAHJH!


      March 30, 2009 at 9:12 pm

  4. My first car was our van o-o and i think its name was named sliver bullet

    The Camery didn’t have a name

    and the Buick is Kermit

    Laptop -Shuichi
    Scanner -Ayame


    Mon Mon

    March 31, 2009 at 11:29 am

    • I’ve taken a ride in Kermit before! He’s a nice froggy.


      April 1, 2009 at 10:38 pm

  5. Oooh! Fun! I like your names.

    I have a whole collection of giraffes (not on my bed like a crazy person, but up on a very high shelf) and they all have names: Jeffrey; Frank; Winston; Mike & Ike (they’re a pair); Pretty Jim; Punkhead; Fingers; Ricky; and Woody.

    I also have an icebat named Cogburn; a wooden rabbit puppet named Alistair; a little crazy looking big-headed yellow thing called The King; a tiny alligator called Pete and a tiny pig called Porkchop. Now that I’ve written this list it sounds like I’m just swimming in toys and stuffed animals, but I swear I’m not…they’re all on one really high shelf (except Cogburn, jeffrey, and The King which are occasionally on the bed).

    My ipod is called Rabid Lamb; My mac is called Bitch Machine or Yo Baby (long story); and my printer/scanner is called Evil Device From Hell of All Hells.

    My car, when I had it, was Beast or Honey, depending on the day and my mood.

    And I also tend to name things “Mr.” for purposes of ease…my electric kettle is Mr. Kettle, my chair is Mr. Chair…

    I sound really crazy and am thinking I should delete this comment…


    March 31, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    • Either you’re crazy for naming everything or I’m crazy for naming nothing. We’ll just cancel each other out in the crazy department.


      March 31, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    • Ohhh, kelly you opened up a new can of worms there–stuffed animals…

      I also call things by Mr.

      -Mr. Pencil, Mr. Blanket, Mr. Drawer, Mr. Chair… the list goes on, though none of them are Mrs.

      My stuffed animals are mostly on my bed, as I don’t have a lot (they move when the Pauly comes to visit) There’s:

      -Snoopy (it’s actually snoopy, nothing original there)
      -Chewie (another dog on my bed that looks like my dog that’s at home, a dachshund)
      -Broccoli (a pound puppy (yes) that I’ve had forever)
      -Herman, a frog I found on the ground at a show (someone stepped on him I had to save him!)
      -Tom the dog (original I know, he was affectionately named by an old friend from work, Shane.)
      -Bowie the Bear, given to me by the boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. Kind of considering changing his name to Dale after I lost my puppy 😦 I have yet to find a stuffed animal that looks like little dale.

      Anyway, those are the only animals on my bed, well except for the real chewie when I am at home. The other animals on the shelves have names, but most of them are snoopy…got a little collection going. There’s Morty the lion that I remember most cause I had dreams that he would try to tickle me–(being tickled when I was little was a nightmare in itself, I hated it–apparently more than being eaten by a lion)

      Though, none of them are giraffes….

      But no, Kelly, you are surely NOT crazy. 🙂

      Tara (on school computer)

      March 31, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    • Yep, you’re crazy.

      Crazy fun. 😉


      April 1, 2009 at 10:39 pm

  6. Well, TK forgot…. he named the orange and white pickup “lifesaver” when he was in 3rd grade.

    Steve (my partner) built a cart/wagon thing out of a wagon bed on top of a baby carriage frame when he was 5yrs old. He called it Tidjeeboo.


    March 31, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    • Aw, Lifesavers are always good. I guess people just can’t resist naming cars. I’m never going to stop anyone!


      April 1, 2009 at 10:42 pm

  7. hey there,
    long time reader first time… uhm… commenter? yeah? okay.

    anyway, yeah, i’m actually opposite with naming things. it kinda runs in my family. me and my siblings havent even named our cats we’ve had for a couple years now.

    i was always jealous when people would name their cars and stuff, so mad props on the creativity


    April 2, 2009 at 5:20 am

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