…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for September 2008

Letting It Do Its Thing

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Actually, I have a second carbon monoxide detector plugged in elsewhere, but I’ve been waiting for the old one’s battery to just die out. Let me tell you, those warnings LIE. As of writing this post [10/13/08], some two weeks later, the thing is buried deep in my closet and still beeping. Hm, that warrants repeating: still beeping. Low battery, my ass!

Well, I’m stubborn enough now to just wait it out…

REMINDER: I’m posting TWO comics a day until the week is over. Check below for an earlier comic!

I lived in lies all my life,
And I’ve been living here for a long, long time,
And I know its been coming down a while now,
When it shows, then you get me on the dial,
But right now you’re half way around the world,
Maybe I’ll see better days, but I’m not so sure I will.

– “Art Isn’t Real” by Deer Tick


Written by Paul

September 23, 2008 at 6:14 pm

Snob Lotion, It’s Perfect for Snobs

with 8 comments

You tell ’em, stranger!

Okay, in order to catch up here at MyLifeComics, I’m posting TWO comics a day until Friday hits. Isn’t that a bunch of awesome? You don’t have to answer that. It was rhetorical.

Headlights crest the hill
Shadows pass her by and out of sight
Annie sees her dreams:
Friday BINGO, pigeons in the park

– “Annie Waits” by Ben Folds Five

Written by Paul

September 22, 2008 at 6:02 pm

Posted in comics, drama, weirdness, women

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Hot Drinks on a Hot Day

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All those words just get confusing after a time: latte, mocha, venti, cappuccino, frappachino, espresso, espresso lungo, espresso Americano, macchiato, ristretto, doppio…

It’s enough to give a person a seizure. But yeah, hot drinks on a hot day…not the best of combos.

My life is like a picture left
Out too long in the sun
Now I’m trying to remember all
The faces of the names i’ve loved
And all that’s left of me now is
A cigarette burning bright
And a fading memory of all the things
I tried to get right

– “Asking for Flowers” by Kathleen Edwards

Written by Paul

September 21, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Posted in business, comics, idiots

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Wendy’s and the Thickest Frosty

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Yup, gotta use a spoon. Those things are thicker than Fangorn Forest, I swear.

She says “wake up, it’s no use pretending”
I’ll keep stealing, breathing her
Birds are leaving over autumn’s ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes ’round the yard

– “Naked As We Came” by Iron & Wine

Written by Paul

September 20, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Posted in comics, food, foodwhore, funny

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Hillbillies Hate Gay Golfing Couples

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Ah, not quite a revisit to the alligator arms day, but a whole new set of jerkfaces. They were pretty seething by the time we got up to the putting green on the first hole; they were waiting for us, not quite ready to tackle the second hole before they marked their territory, the words barely able to be contained in their stupid, dumb, blubbering mouths, and they seemed to actually accuse me of almost killing them. As if. I can barely hit the ball a hundred yards, let alone faster than 10 mph. The only person that almost died that day was Mr. Squirrel, but he skittered around to the other side of the tree trunk when he saw Sean was up to swing and practiced some zen-like positions.

I wonder who we’ll meet on our next outing. I hope it’s Bob Barker.

Can we take the next hour
And talk about me
Talk about me, and we’ll talk about me
Talk about me, and we’ll only talk about me

– “I’m Actual” by The Format

Written by Paul

September 20, 2008 at 6:52 pm

Posted in comics, jerks, outdoors, relationships, sports

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A Twizzler Mystery of Sorts

with 6 comments

Let me just clarify something here: I’m talking about red Twizzlers. Frak black licorice and all that it stands for!

Also, seeing as all I do is draw about myself (1) eating or (2) thinking about eating, I’ve decided to rename this whole thing I do here MyFoodComics. Catchy, ja?

Take me by the hand and tell me
You would take me anywhere
And it goes, it’s like a come on come on to me

– “Take Me Anywhere” by Tegan and Sara

Written by Paul

September 19, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Ladder Through a Barnes & Noble

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No kids, bookshelves, or orders of tall caramel frappachinos (with whipped cream!) were harmed as she side-snaked her way out from the cafe to the front entrance. With a ladder. A ladder through the FRONT ENTRANCE. Ever see how crammed those places are, what with their towers of books on French gourmet or the types of tanks used specifically in World War II? Sometimes if there’s just a single person in there staring intently at the racks of bargain books I have to suck in my gut just to skim by. Crazy, people. Absolutely crazy. How a ladder got through is still impossible for my brain to compute. Let’s just chalk this up as one wonder of the world…

It’s a turn-around jump shot
It’s everybody jump start
It’s every generation throws a hero up the pop charts
Medicine is magical and magical is art
The boy in the bubble
And the baby with the baboon heart

– “The Boy in the Bubble” by Paul Simon

Written by Paul

September 18, 2008 at 5:55 pm

Posted in business, comics, weirdness, women

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