…and you thought your life was exciting!

#366 – Trashy Woman

with 8 comments

I can already hear Momma Dukes now: “Have you made an appointment to get your eyes checked yet?!” Nah, being blind isn’t too bad. It has some pros to it. When I figure out what those are, I’ll be sure to inform each and every one of you.

But let’s play a game. It’s called How Many Shots of Grain Alcohol Did These People Take Before Getting on the Internet to Google Around and Find MyLifeComics? Okay, it’s a bit long, but it’s more or less a work-in-progress. Got some very interesting term searches this week. See for yourself:

  • can horses get herpes?
  • comic strip about paper or plastic
  • spiderman lingerie
  • dislike of bright colors
  • how to build a redneck
  • how birds mate
  • make me a comic strip now

Yeah, my guess is…three shots of grain alcohol.

The weekend is here. Please tell me your plans so that I may imagine myself beside you, sharing said plans with you, all without being the least bit creepy. I promise. Maybe. Just consider me your personal Jiminy Cricket or whatever. I might be making a big purchase over the weekend, thanks for my recession check. You want a hint? It’s not an orange.

Smeared black ink, your palms are sweaty
And I’m barely listening to last demands
I’m staring at the asphalt wondering what’s buried underneath where I am

– “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight” by The Postal Service

Written by Paul

June 6, 2008 at 12:00 am

8 Responses

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  1. This first comment is really from Tara who, despite coming down with a fever, still wanted to show her ability at being my #1 fan:

    So did you wave back? I’m sure I would have.

    That is pretty interesting I’d say, hmmmm….for me it would probably be about one or two shots…. Well, MY weekend, is a bit undetermined due to events that could possibly be taking place, but I hope that I get to spend saturday with you πŸ™‚ Not to mention today, friday, we are going to have our tradition of watching battlestar! So you actually don’t have to imagine yourself beside me, because, well, you will be πŸ™‚

    Mmmm I apologize for my fever-induced mistakes if I made any…. and yes!! I know much of this big purchase, and I’m excited for you! You’ve come over to the…er…dark(?)side….it’s not really the dark side…though I’m sure some people believe it to be.

    Mmmm, see you later today!! m e w


    June 6, 2008 at 12:02 am

  2. That made me laugh!

    I would say one shot of grain alcohol. You should see some of the term searches that lead people to my blog! *blushes*

    No big plans for me.. Just flying back home today. (been at my mom’s all week) Have a great weekend!


    June 6, 2008 at 7:44 am

  3. πŸ˜‰ you’re too good to me, I will see you later today!!


    June 6, 2008 at 7:44 am

  4. #1 reason Being Blind Isn’t Too Bad: You can’t see how dirty the house is!

    We’re going diving down off of the North Carolina coast tomorrow, woo-hoo!

    Hope you’re feeling better soon, Tara–I’m sure Paul has that effect on all women, you know, making them feel all feverish and such πŸ˜‰


    June 6, 2008 at 8:26 am

  5. Those are awesome search terms Paul. You have to draw some of those. I’m particularly interested in seeing your handling of horse herpes.

    As for the weekend. Forget it. It’s supposed to be hot humid and hazy in NYC this weekend (they literally said ‘the three h’s we all hate’ on the news this morning)- prediction for tomorrow is 93, but with the humidity index it will “feel like over 100” so I will be giving my window units a work out and staying safely inside. I hate summer. And happiness. And love. And people. πŸ˜‰


    June 6, 2008 at 9:32 am

  6. Girly: Hah, oooooh I’m sure you get some naughty search terms! πŸ˜›

    Tara: See ya soon!

    Trina: Aw, you’re too kind to me. Keep it up though and you might just end p in bed as well with a 105 degree fever, raving about some emo hobbit named Paul or whatever. Your husband might grow suspicious…

    Kelly: Hah, I don’t think I even wanna think about drawing some of these. They scare me. Enjoy the air conditioning. Stay away from the sun and parades and smiling people. πŸ˜€


    June 6, 2008 at 9:57 am

  7. Heya Biff – It’s not an orange, so it must be an APPLE! Yay for you!

    Today – I am going in for my 4th and final? sitting on my tattoo. Let’s hope!

    Saturday – I am going to see Junie B Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus tour! There is a book signing and everything.

    I am also dog sitting for the entire week for a Rottweiler. Who’s nervous???? Me!!! (On the plus side, they have a Wii, a pool, cable tv, internet access, a well stocked kitchen, and tons of movies I haven’t seen. So, I am saying good-bye to Athena and hello to Ginger.)


    June 6, 2008 at 11:51 am

  8. I have one sentence to combat your blindness. “Lasik is the best $3,000 I ever spent.” Granted, my wife went from 20/800 to 20/15, I went from 20/200 to 20/10.

    5 shots. But now I can’t wait to get home to search for Spiderman lingerie. Just something interestingly kinky about that. In a heterosexual way of course.

    Boo Apple. But then again, I just bought an iPod for my audio books. So make that a softly whispered “boo.”

    Weekend plans include working outside. The damn ditch nearly washed out and I need to prep for some step replacement. So my number one goal will be to avoid heat stroke and heart attacks.


    June 6, 2008 at 2:36 pm

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