MyLifeComics

…and you thought your life was exciting!

Archive for May 2008

#354 – The Moldy Cheese

with 14 comments

“Dang rotten kids, with their loud music and nose rings!” says Paul doing his cranky, old man impression. “Thinking a PA system in ShopRite is some kind of toy! Why, when I was their age, I didn’t even ever have a toy. I played with my big toe just to pass the time. And then I walked uphill to school. Barefoot. In the snow. EVERY DAY. Dang kids.”

Hmm, okay. Glad that that is out of my system now…

Question of the day: Which of you is the one with the moldy cheese and why on Earth are you hiding it in your pants?

The big stars that crash cars and get paid
To say lines and pay fines and get laid
I don’t have to look to see
That that place isn’t me
The guitars and money the big shots
Bad cops and charities go by

– “Bad Cops, Bad Charities” by PlayRadioPlay

Written by Paul

May 20, 2008 at 12:00 am

#353 – Picking a Movie

with 6 comments

Tough choice, yes?

I don’t have much to say because I worked myself like a dog today, drawing and coloring thingies, taking only small breaks to watch some of the Indiana Jones marathon that was on this afternoon. I still say that The Temple of Doom is the best, quickly followed by Raiders of the Lost Ark, and then, distantly, oh so distantly, trailing like a dying beast that is slowly succumbing to a mixture of exhaustion and dehydration, is The Last Crusade. It’s too campy…even for me. Sean Connery alone does not make a film great.

And I don’t know about this new one, this Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. My Spider Sense is tingling, warning me that my childhood nostalgia is in danger. We’ll see…

Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?!

That is all.

They were looking for me when I came to
They were looking for me when I came back
Said, “Hey you, you’re looking very suspicious”
I said, “Relax man get off my back”

– “Open Up” by Dispatch

Written by Paul

May 19, 2008 at 12:02 am

#352 – No Pauls

with 9 comments

Let’s see, let’s see. Yesterday’s bacon comic strip is currently being featured on the front page of WordPress. That’s nice. Hello, new visitors. Please say hi! I won’t bite! Also, evidently just mentioning bacon gets people all excited. Like…orgasm excited. I guess that’s good to know.

Mmm Friday is here, quickly to be followed by the weekend. Hopefully not too quickly. Hmm, here’s a first in a long time. I’m going to spend some of it with my girlfriend. And I solemnly swear that I will finish up all my freelance work this weekend so that it can be dead and done and out of my mind. Please tell me what y’all are up to. Bonus points if you mention either ice cream or gardening.

Question of the day: Excluding me, do you know another Paul? If you don’t, give me a dollar.

Always waiting
For my ride to pick me up on my time
Seems I’m staying
As the others cross the finish lines
I could break into day I could set into speed
But to tell you the truth I’m always waiting
Always waiting

– “Waiting” by Mae

Written by Paul

May 16, 2008 at 12:00 am

#351 – I Ate Bacon

with 14 comments

Just so we’re on the same page, I’m talking about this. Not this. Also, I’m the worst lacto-ovo pescetarian that ever once was!

Not shown in the comic: Upon hearing about my latest adventure in eating, Tom stopped whatever he was talking about with whomever immediately to share his entire bacon-life story to us. When I tell you it was great, I mean it was beyond great. I’ve only ever seen such excitement in movies, where the children come bounding down the stairs, shrieking and shaking all because it is Christmas morning and Santa has done well. Anyways, Tom claims, and feel free to argue whether or not such a memory can exist, that he remembers the very first time he ever ate bacon at the age of three. Then came a list of the number of things one can do with bacon, as well as the numerous concoctions that something plus bacon can be born in no time at all. It really seemed to go on for hours when, in truth, it was only a handful of minutes. But that leads us to…

Question of the day: What do you like to put your bacon on? Don’t say cat.

And now I’m officially tired of the very word…

All the ships in the ocean
Outside my window
Under the moon
All the lights in the harbor
Keep me from sleeping
Keep me from dreaming

– “All That I Know” by The Get Up Kids

Written by Paul

May 15, 2008 at 12:01 am

#350 – Be My Girlfriend

with 16 comments

…and we can now add dogs to the list of things I have trouble drawing.

So, er, yes, now you all know. Cause I’m thinking suspicions were growing out there. Unfortunately, I have to turn in my Man Club membership card ASAP as this is now my new favorite website in the entire universe…

We’ll cut out bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We’ll give ourselves new names (identities erased)

– “Brand New Colony” by The Postal Service

Written by Paul

May 14, 2008 at 12:01 am

#349 – Late for Dinner

with 12 comments

In case you don’t already know, and really now people, pay the frak attention, I’m always getting lost. I’m 50% Irish, 50% Italian, and 100% Lost. Also, I’m not good at math…

Some link salad, no dressing:

  • Yesterday’s Stuff White People Like was hysterical, so funny that I’m linking to it here and telling you to go and read it up.
  • Sandra McDonald, author of The Outback Stars and The Stars Down Under, has begun posting the comics I drew for her latest book, which can be seen here. More are on their way, and if you find yourself intrigued from what you see, definitely check out her books. They have spaceships, alien technology, and smooching.
  • One of my new favorite webcomics to read is Unshelved; it’s about books, ’nuff said.

Okay, that’s it. Go, be entertained.

Question of the day: If Mapquest was a person and you ran into him/her in a dark alley, would shit go down, as they say on the streets of high society? Personally, I think he has a lot coming to him. Namely, a couple of punches to the nether regions and that’s a major no-no in the world of man-to-man combat.

I’m just a face for every picture
A smile for your scrapbooks
And a story to be told
But I’m loving every second
So commemorate this hour
As the last I spend regretting what I have

– “This is How We Do” by All Time Low

Written by Paul

May 13, 2008 at 12:01 am

#348 – Hyperion

with 9 comments

Really, go read the plot summary and then come back here and tell me what you’ve learned. You’ll receive special kudos/bonus points/brownies if you can sum up the book in seven words or less. All I’ve been able to do is: Ragtag group of people go on death-mission. Ha! And that’s not even close. Still, Hyperion by Dan Simmons is a fantastic read. I heartily recommend it…

So, the weekend was good. Nay, great! And you’ll see why this week…

Question of the day: Um, I don’t know! Hmm. Who would win in a fight, a slightly inebriated James Bond (portrayed by Sean Connery) with magic bullets or a rabid unicorn with self-healing powers? Please show your math.

Black birds slow and softly breaks a glass of wine
Broken bluesy whisper sing to me tonight
Well, everybody wants to go on forever
I just wanna burn up hard and bright
I just wanna be your firecracker

– “Firecracker” by Ryan Adams

Written by Paul

May 12, 2008 at 12:00 am