#343 – Lion Mountain
Just think about it, people. Saturday night, a prime time of 9:00 p.m., you’re sitting around in your undies flipping through the channels in search of something good to watch. Something entertaining, something smart, something worth your very brain cells. And then a new show debuts, my show, replete with a tribal-heavy soundtrack of bongos and frenetic chanting: “Boy VS. The World with Lion Mountain”
I know, right. It sounds pretty dang awesome already. What’s the premise? Why, I’m glad you asked.
In “Boy VS. The World with Lion Mountain,” I travel all across the globe, taking on the challenges that greater men prior failed at. For example, in the very first episode, I slay an ogre. Future episodes may or may not see me doing battle with an army of undead soldiers, climbing Mount Everest, and creating the first flying car in a race of time against my weekly nemesis Dr. Brains (portrayed by none other than the sexy Michael Caine). So set your TIVOs and recording devices because, really, I’m taking over your television sets very, very soon. All your base are belong to us. If you don’t get that last part, it’s okay.
Now all I need is a catchphrase…
Question of the day: How ridiculous is Bear Grylls?
Your ship may be coming in
You’re weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
– “A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley