…and you thought your life was exciting!

#342 – Starbucks Orders

with 10 comments

I’m too polite.

That said, you’re all a bunch of ugly monkeys! And you smell, too! You’re a bunch of stinky, smelly people and I’ve been holding back on tellin’ you just how much you reek for far too long and that some of you certainly need to shower a wee bit longer. Soap is your friend, not thy enemy. Work it cause man oh man is the wallpaper starting to peel….eh, I can’t do this. You’re all the bestest ever. I can’t be anything but thankful for my readership. I say “please” and “thank you” like…okay, I just spent fifteen minutes trying to come up with a really solid and substantial comparison, but all I kept typing was “like Randy Jackson says ‘yo, dog.'” Gah. Anyways, I say it a lot. ACCEPT IT, world. Please…thank you.

In other news, Sam Tomaino from the SFRevu Review recently gave the latest issue of Kaleidotrope a read. He touches very briefly on all the stories here, describing mine as such: Paul Abbamondi weighs in with “She’s a Hearth,” the story of a young girl who goes way too far to warm a worthless boy’s heart. Yup, that about sums it up. Overall, he was pleased with the magazine. Which, y’know, is pleasing to me. Cause I’m in it.

Oh, and it is Friday. Mmm Friday, how I’ve longed for you all week long. I’ll be dog-sitting Penny the Princess and three kitty cats, watching Battlestar Galactica with Tara, and entertaining Momma Dukes and D as they visit on Sunday. Whew. What are your plans?

There’s a gentleman who’s not so gentle
Cause he’s too generous with his chit and his chat
So lately we’ve been discussing a way to rid
This disgusting example of ample gossip and gab
All we hear is la la la…

– “Ladies and Gentlemen” by Hot Hot Heat

Written by Paul

May 2, 2008 at 12:01 am

10 Responses

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  1. Aww it’s nice that you are polite! I appreciate your politeness and wish there were more people like you! I have to face such things every time I go into work 😦 working in retail is the pits, and working at any type of food franchise is even worse I bet.

    I’d really like to read your work someday 🙂 I hope you will give me the opportunity! :p

    and yes! tomorrow will be great! I’ll bring the pasta salad and the Futurama movie! mmm Friday 🙂

    aww, poor Dale is freaking out because of the thunder! 😦

    Oh Berlin 67

    May 2, 2008 at 12:12 am

  2. I’m the say way, Paul, with all of the “pleases” and “thank yous” and I always try to smile and say “hello” when I walk up to the register. I know cashiers, etc catch a lot of crap, most of it undeservedly, so I do what I can to, hopefully, make their day a little more pleasant.

    Can’t wait to hear about the adventures you’ll be having this weekend with Penny Dreadful.

    As for me, the hubby is going on an overnight tech dive trip Sat, so I have a bottle of Zin and a good book to read.


    May 2, 2008 at 8:22 am

  3. Do you have plain old coffee? I don’t want
    any flavored shit in it, just a cup
    of old-fashioned coffee, not too strong,
    I don’t like burnt coffee, it’s too bitter,
    no foam, none of that sickly sweet syrup.
    I’ll take it ‘To Go’ because your customers
    smell like the offspring of hippies and
    who wants to sit in a used chair anyway, you
    never know who’s sat in that chair before.
    Ummmm. Also. Do you have sweet-n-low?


    May 2, 2008 at 9:54 am

  4. I’m extra/overly nice as well. Although in this guys case, he did already say Large, so I feel like he should get a pass 🙂


    May 2, 2008 at 10:14 am

  5. Tara: Dr. Zoidberg lurves pasta salad.

    Trina: Ohhh wine and a good book! You know, that sounds quite nice. Enjoy the Zin!

    Seraphine: I don’t like plain coffee too much. I never flavored creamers or alcohol to make it taste better.

    Kelly: But Starbucks doesn’t sell “larges”. 😛


    May 2, 2008 at 10:20 am

  6. It’s kind of like going to the barber. Always be polite because they have a razor at your neck (or in this case, the ability to spit in your coffee).

    Weekend plans include shopping, yard work (weather permitting), shed work (power is live!), and a short road race on Sunday (Elizabeth is running, I’m the sidekick). Oh, and school. Can’t forget school.


    May 2, 2008 at 10:28 am

  7. Stick with the manners. If people are rude to any type of foodserver, they will spit in the customer’s food. It is true, I’m sure Bitsy will back me up on this one.


    May 2, 2008 at 10:39 am

  8. And worse (wink, wink), Cass!

    I am studying up for Scrabble Club Night #2. I have a Voyager training program, not the NASA kind. It’s for summer school.

    I am running a road race at night on Saturday – an 8 K.

    Sunday is lunch with the girls and a little R and R.


    May 2, 2008 at 11:58 am

  9. Ha Ha. I actually hate that. I mean I’m a TOTALLY cosmopolitan 1990’s…I mean 2000’s woman so I’m secretly into asking for things as a Tall, Grande, or Venti…but I still kind of hate it…especially when they use words like Super Jumbo, or Extra Super Large or something ridiculous. And you say “large” and they go, “do you mean Super Jumbo?!” And you then you have to go, “whatever the large is!”

    drives me crazy.


    May 2, 2008 at 12:45 pm

  10. Brit sitcoms Friday; Red Bank Art Walk Sat. Dinner with family Sun. Oh, and the job search continues…


    May 2, 2008 at 4:24 pm

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