…and you thought your life was exciting!

#319 – Beyond Advice

with 12 comments

I don’t play many sports, mostly because I get very turned off by their competitive nature. Now, that does not mean I’m not competitive (I can be), but in sports everything is taken up a couple hundred notches. In high school, I was pressured into signing up for the golf team. Immediately, I knew I was out of place as I watched everyone claim they could out-drive one another and began putting some monetary bets on these beliefs. I did not participate. Tryouts came and went, and I did not make the team. I was secretly both relieved and ecstatic. I continued to go to class with a lot of the golf team members, listening to their stories of woe or brags of might, and I really couldn’t understand. When I golf now, I like it to just be me and my father. Sometimes just me. Bringing in other people is a wager, and these were the sorts that I had gone to high school with. Still concerned about beer and betting on who was the better golfer…nope, not for me. And unsolicited advice is something that really grates my cheese. I don’t hand my own out; therefore, don’t give me any. I’m not looking to be the next Tiger Woods. I just want to play a little golf, feel good if I sink a long putt, and be content with all of that.

Also, calling me a “big guy” is an easy way to get me to hate you. Don’t effing do it.

So, what’s your favorite sport?

Written by Paul

April 2, 2008 at 8:43 am

Posted in musings, rant, sports

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12 Responses

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  1. Is Jazzercise a sport? Scuba diving, of course. I used to drive (not actually race for points or anything) in road racing and auto crossing events (not so much lately on account of diving.) But I don’t play what are traditionally considered sports like tennis or basketball.

    Yeah, the only person I like competing against is myself. I try to push myself to my own personal limits, and I’m always looking for ways to improve myself. Criticism is hard to accept, but if it’s offered in a kind and helpful manner, I’m willing to listen.


    April 2, 2008 at 9:02 am

  2. Look! It’s that cute, big guy golfing! Sheesh. I’d have come close to wrapping the putter around his neck.

    Sports. The bane of my existence. I played basketball and t-ball as a kid. Sucked at both. Played soccer for years and years and was mediocre. Discovered cross-country in high school and loved it. It was just me, the trees, and the cute ass of that exchange student in front of me (thanks to her, I got lost on my home course).

    As an adult, I think I would enjoy running if I were still in shape. Bad knees and a “big guy” gut means walking is about as fast as I go. Not as much fun, but better than nothing. I like to watch football, but (confessional time again) I don’t know all the rules like I pretend.

    So instead I enjoy those sports that are amusing to me. Hurling (or shinty if you prefer). Aussie rule football. Ninja Warrior. WRC/Dakar Rally. Of those four, I only know the rules for the later two and really only get time to watch Ninja Warrior (which I do consider a sport, not a game show).


    April 2, 2008 at 10:31 am

  3. Trina: Scuba diving is totally a sport! All those leg thrusts and battling of sharks. But yeah, competing against one’s self, you know, on an internal level, is where I’m at. This criticism didn’t feel as if it were being offered kindly. Came across as more of a pity talk.

    TK: Don’t make me hit you with my sandwedge. I bet you were a sweeper in soccer, no? That’s the position I was stuck in all the time. Sports boooooo. Books yaaaay!

    I still need to find this Ninja Warrior show and watch it…


    April 2, 2008 at 10:47 am

  4. Is fishing in AC:WW a sport? All the things I like are individualized (or I make them so). I also get turned off by strong competitive natures. i like yoga, jogging, hiking, and tennis. but i played golf once recently and that could be fun.
    when I come home we’ll play. i will be so horrendous I will draw all the attention and people will leave you alone. AND – to make this sport more FUN!, we are getting a golf cart or 2 and packing some drinks in the golf bags. Kapeesh?
    TTFN, shrimp – o!


    April 2, 2008 at 11:01 am

  5. Fishing in AC is totally a sport! I got a clownfish and a turkeyfish yesterday, no joke!

    We can play golf (and mini-golf on the boards this summer!), but if you call me a big guy I will sit on you and then you will feel pain like you’ve never known.

    Shrimp-o, signing off!


    April 2, 2008 at 3:14 pm

  6. I like Dadster’s response…he’s really starting to understand you.


    April 2, 2008 at 7:43 pm

  7. Heh, yup. He summed me up quite well, I have to say.


    April 2, 2008 at 7:50 pm

  8. I’d take “beyond advice” as proof that you’re awesome at golf. So awesome that more advice wouldn’t help.

    And I hate competitive sports, because they usually involve balls flying at my head, and people yelling at me to “get in there”. “getting in there” seems like a pretty dumb thing to do if there are balls flying around at head height in there.


    April 2, 2008 at 10:43 pm

  9. Ah sports, as mentioned before, the bane of my existence.

    That being said, even though I’m terrible at most sports I still love to play baseball, basketball(just shooting, I ain’t in the shape to run up and down the court for an hour), fish, and I used to play football. Nowadays though most of my sports life is lived vicariously through SoCal teams, but that’s okay because they’re good at what they do, and I don’t need to remind myself why I don’t actively play sports anymore!

    Don’t worry big guy, I feel you when it comes to loathing that title, as I too have been pegged with it from time to time.


    April 3, 2008 at 3:43 am

  10. Leaf: Ha, I am no way, shape, or form awesome at golf, but thanks for thinking that! And yeah, balls flying at heads…not my favorite of things.

    tgjason: Thanks, big guy! Fishing is a good sport too, mostly because it can be quite relaxing.


    April 3, 2008 at 8:29 am

  11. Soccer – golf is a close second. I played a tiny bit ont he golf team in high scool as well. The only problem was that I was better at enjoying the fresh air than sinking putts… Great blog by the way. 🙂

    Golf Club Rental

    April 3, 2008 at 9:43 pm

  12. Thanks! I used to play soccer, but I think my favorite part was always halftime when we got juice boxes and orange slices. 😛


    April 4, 2008 at 8:42 am

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