…and you thought your life was exciting!

#299 – My Dream Woman

with 15 comments

Now taking applications. Inquire within if interested…

Too late, too late to see the show
Everyone’s going home
Too late, too late to make them stay
The critics say the script is old

– “Stranger, You and I” by Daphne Loves Derby

Written by Paul

March 4, 2008 at 9:33 am

15 Responses

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  1. She sounds like a very sweet, intelligent young woman. Hope you meet her soon!


    March 4, 2008 at 10:39 am

  2. I like this comment, Biff! Good luck!


    March 4, 2008 at 10:43 am

  3. OOps – comic, not comment. GRRR – I need caffeine!


    March 4, 2008 at 10:43 am

  4. I like this comic too…it’s funny and also thoughtful. That said, you’re going to need to pare down this list…even for a dream woman…!

    My favorite: “Knows the difference between the blue and gold teams in X-Men”

    And again, explain to me what’s so wrong with the word ‘cute’?


    March 4, 2008 at 10:49 am

  5. Trina: I’m keeping my eyes open!

    Bitsy: Drink up. I got an apple TV. It’s not that exciting. Still no third room yet.

    Kelly: Ha, I totally could’ve added more to this list! The word cute is like a punch to the groin. It pains me. I’ve never been able to escape it. Seemingly, everything I do gets that label attached to it. Well, not everything. My writing freaks some folks out. Oh well.


    March 4, 2008 at 11:10 am

  6. Paul: we all CAN add more to the list, the object is to SUBTRACT from this list…I want an edited draft on my desk by Friday!!!


    March 4, 2008 at 12:02 pm

  7. “Cute” is a bit like a compliment wrapped around an insult. Like when you get into bed naked and your female friend looks at your package and says “cute.” Yeah, not so nice. Or when you tell her you “write books or stories or poetry” and she looks at you for a second and says “aww, how cute.” Like you’re a 5 year old boy that says he wants to be a firefighter when he grows up.

    My favorite? The naked drawing of course. But I’d have to change it to photograph instead of drawing. I can only draw stick people.


    March 4, 2008 at 12:07 pm

  8. TK: Well, I never said I’d draw her naked well. Heh. But yeah, that c-word…not so much fun.


    March 4, 2008 at 2:19 pm

  9. That girl would be a lot like you, but with a different anatomy.

    Tyrone (again)

    March 4, 2008 at 2:42 pm

  10. Exactly, Tyrone! In the past I’ve gone after the complete opposite of me sort of girls. You know, loud, dramatic, club hoppers, spoiled princesses. Those sorts. And they never really worked out. So maybe, much like that episode of Seinfeld, I need to find a female version of myself.


    March 4, 2008 at 3:24 pm

  11. I think if you had a female version of yourself you’d notice all your own flaws.

    “God, I wanted to go to B&N and all you’re doing is sitting there playing video games!”

    Maybe not, but it’s a possibility. And yes, you can always add to the list but the point is your list is too damn long to find the girl, you’ll never notice all that stuff at a first glance! Good luck though my friend, I’ve been searching myself for a nice college girl like that, very unsuccessfully by the way.


    March 4, 2008 at 4:51 pm

  12. I still think you guys (Paul, TK42ONE) are a bit off on the cute bit…I agree that examples you’re using are not good (and borderline horrifying in the case of the package scenario) but what about all the times that Adam or I act “cute” in order to get out of trouble…it works all the time, with one of us proclaiming “Why do you have to be so goddamn cute – it makes it impossible to stay mad at you!”

    See…it can be good…I swear!

    As for the dream girl – I agree with tgjason – if you don’t pare it down you risk never finding your seinfeldian female you…


    March 4, 2008 at 6:50 pm

  13. Why does she always look sad??


    March 5, 2008 at 9:04 pm

  14. Teehee 😮 Well I HAVE to say, aside from not having reading glasses…this pretty much..sums me up. Is that scary? Eh, I don’t think so :p


    May 22, 2008 at 1:54 am

  15. […] you’re thinking you’re seeing double, fear not. I’ve merely gone and updated this comic, which initially showcased the qualities and quirks I was looking for in a so-called dream woman. […]

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