And I must profess with my most adamant online voice that Bear is NOT a man. He’s a fake. Sure, sure, he goes out and “survives” in the wild. But how does he get those stunning action shots? Whoa, wait, is that a camera crew following him around? Why yes it is!

Bear, my boy, let me introduce you to a REAL man. Les Stroud. Sure, he may be Canadian and use funny words, but he survives. ALONE. He runs his own cameras. Does his own editing. Scores his own music. He’s a one man show. And he has a semi-normal name. He’s been chased by jaguars, pulled a Waterworld with his own urine, and lived on scorpions. Now THAT is a man.

So Paul, please, please, please don’t be like Bear. You can have a funny name, but do a quality show like Les. I’d respect you more.

Still, I bet Lion Mountain wouldn’t have needed any help from his crew, unless you count his key grip who happens to own the only ogre slaying sword in the world! For shame Lion Mountain, taking credit for something your key grip did.

Is she pinching your…pocket?

Monica: ::throws a plushie at you::

Bitsy: You certainly are incredible! Oh, wait. That wasn’t the word you used…hmm.